So there I was, catching falling stars on my bed one night and contemplating on my longest ever crush on Peter Pan. Maybe if he were for real (and if dogs could really fly) I could too, if only I didn't know that while I believed so much on fairies, my fairies never did believe in me. I could not blame them; I never really took off the galaxies stuffed in my pockets, and I kept on catching more falling stars than I could hold in my hands. They must have thought that it was this weight that kept me anchored to the ground.

I found pixie dust sprinkled inside my shoes, when I finally got off the bed. Only I didn't get that magical feeling in the movies, (the room did not echo "you can fly, you can fly!" ) It stung my feet instead, like when you sit on your leg for too long, stung my feet like having that funny bone on your elbow hit by the classroom chair. I liked wearing them anyway, for it reminded me of Peter Pan (and have I mentioned that I had the longest crush on him?) and I thought maybe if I wore these pixie shoes, by some good fairytale karma, he would appear. Even though it stung. (Even though I didn't know yet that later on, it will bleed.)

Anyway I always kept my needles ready, just in case he drops by searching for his shadow.

So then my window flew open, as I watched in awe as the second star to the right shone brighter and brighter, I ran to the sill and stood on the roof thinking of what it's like, face to face with your most elusive dream - must have been that same feeling in the wax museum when you're face to face with hollywood stars, only better. (as I have never really found wax a legitimate substitute for human beings - wax hands are too slippery to hold.) Peter Pan was more than a Michael Jackson. Heck, Peter Pan was far greater to me then even Elvis.

I felt afloat. My feet began to leave the roof tiles - I was going to fly! I gave it one huge leap of faith, and I drifted into the endless sky. (And for the first time ever, like that cow in the nursery rhyme, I finally understood how it felt to jump over the moon)

I didn't stay there for long though. Next thing I knew I was being pulled hard into the earth, plunging into the darkness underneath me. Down down down down down down

It was a seemingly endless fall. How high have I really been? Down, down, down.

Down, down, down, I couldn't have crashed harder. The moment I hit the ground I felt my bones dig themselves into my other bones, and the stars that I have held so dearly in these pockets fell all over the place, dug themselves into my skin.

I had legitimate reasons to cry then, only I figured that crying is not as much fun as laughing, And so I did. And all of a sudden I realized that it takes more than pixie dust to fly.

And while I thought that my fairies never did believe in me, I felt myself begin to rise.

(I never found my Peter, but who am I to protest now that I'm in Neverland?)
 

I don't know what I was thinking when I urged myself to let you go just to keep me focused but as certain as I was then that it was the right thing to do, I am still. That doesn't mean I am not seeing you off with a heavy heart. There will be lonely nights and I will deal with them. There will be uneasy mornings when my eyes would flutter with creeping restiveness and I would have to realize again that I am alone. That this is ephemeral does not make it trivial. In our world, there is you and I, together.

I am of you and you are of me. That is how it is. That is what I know.

Goodbye.

• Mariah is so Plastik. I mean, i could read her mind when she's mentoring those kids. Lurrvve it!
• David Archuleta is love. When You Believe is nice for him. But its soo bitin at the end kasi walang birit chuva dun sa last line  na part ni Mariah.Anyways, its ok. Love nga siya diba... he can never go wrong.
• Carly's version of Without You is like Kelly Clarkson trying to be a diva. hello?! I  expected her to sing pa naman a song from the emancipation album. But then again, ayoko talaga sa kanya. Isa siyang Joaquin Bordado on drugs. cmon?!
• Byebye Brooke White. She's not idol material. Period. Para siyang preschool teacher na trying hard magturo sa college. Its just dont feel right. so byebye na ha?
• Kristy Lee Cook's version of Forever is ok. Randy's right. Too pitchy. And i dont like her dress. Trying hard magpaka pokpok-ish look like Mariah. Last week's get-up is way better.
• Syesha's soo primadonna lately ha. Parang magkumare lang when she makes beso beso to Miss Carey... and Vanishing as a song choice? Ilusyonadang negrita.
• David Cook's version of Always Be My Baby is sooo great. Chills went down my spine. grabe. The best this season so far.
• Jason Castro, as predicted, was so awkward with any Mariah song. Cmon. He can do better than that naman eh. His version of Halleluiah is one of the best version i heard. Kaso wala eh. Mariah night kasi and it doesnt suit him talaga. Poor Marley kid.
• I cant wait to hear lola Mariah sing "Bye Bye" later. Sana kasi katulad na lang dati na pag may mentor eh nagccomment din sa performance. Pa'no kaya siya mang ookray dba? Just like what she did with Perez on KissFM. Laugh trip sana. Hehe.
• I also can't wait for Annie Lennox's turn on mentoring. I'm teary eyed pa nga nung performance niya on idol gives back. Hayyy... This season's really better compared to Taylor Hicks' time. Props for em dawg. (eeeww)